Everything I'm Not
by RevSrVixena
Summary: Ron contemplates whether he's the right person for Kim. Songfic. Hints of KiGo.


**Everything I'm Not**

_Disclaimer: All characters and lyrics belong to Disney, the Veronicas, Sister Act, Ellen, Dr Phil and Oprah. I'm just borrowing them for a short while. They can have them back. I promise._

_This is as angsty as I will ever get with my writing. Every time I heard the Veronicas' 'Everything I'm Not', I thought of Ron. So I decided to turn it into a story. It's the first story I ever wrote, almost four years ago. It's now the right time to post it. I really need to get this monkey of my back. Also, I wish to thank sweetPixiesmile for all his help._

_**This story has hints of KiGo. If that bothers you, please do not read it.**_

KPKPKPKP

Ron Stoppable was sick of looking at the interior of his room. He was sick of the walls and his beloved posters of Martin Smarty that were barely hanging on. He was sick of the window furnishings. And he was sick of the very worn carpet that should have been replaced years ago if it wasn't for fact his parents did not want to make a major purchase with a toddler in the house. For over a month it was his haven but today it was making him feel claustrophobic.

He needed to go outside and enjoy the beautiful sunlight that was shining through his window. Ron Stoppable was also tired of feeling sad. He wasn't him. He needed to get out. It had been too long since he left the house for fun. Today that changed.

Ron swung his legs off the bed. He reached under to retrieve his sneakers. He called out to his best friend in the entire world at the moment, "Rufus, today we are going out."

The naked mole rat stopped grooming himself and looked at his master in surprise, "Out?"

"Yeah, little buddy. You remember out. It's what we used to do a lot."

"For cheese?" Rufus asked hopefully.

"Maybe."

The little mole rat quickly scampered up Ron's shirt and slipped into his pocket. The blond teen almost laughed. His pet was worried he would change his mind.

Ron walked downstairs and went looking for his mom so he could tell her his plans. He found her in the family room folding laundry while watching one of her beloved talk shows. Today it was Ellen.

"Mom, I'm going to go out for a while. I won't be long. Do you want anything while I'm gone?"

Mrs Stoppable stopped folding and looked at her son, clearly thrown by the statement. She hadn't heard those words for a long time now. "You're going out?"

"Yep," said Ron with a smile.

"That's great, honey. You know, your father and I have been so worried about you lately; you know with you being cooped up in your room all the time."

"I know, mom. I'm okay. I'm feeling much better. Honest."

Mrs Stoppable smiled at her son. Ron could see the relief on his mom's face. It made him sad that he had put her through so much stress.

"So, where are you off to?"

"I don't know. I thought I'd go someplace that's not my room. I thought Rufus needed the sunlight."

"You know I heard on one of my shows that sunlight was great for the body, it's a good source of Vitamin D. Rufus will appreciate it," Andrea Stoppable said with a smile.

"Thanks mom, I'm sure the little guy will appreciate it. He's been looking very pale."

"Why don't you go down to the church a few blocks down, you know the Catholic one on the corner? I think there's a fair on today. There might be a bit for you to do and see. And if you remember please bring home a cake from one of the stalls for dessert."

"What sort would you like?"

"Surprise me."

Ron left his mother to her folding and to her show. He headed towards the church. There was indeed a fair on. As he approached he could see the jumping castle and rides that were set up for the occasion. Ron could hear the squeals from the Mega Drop ride. There were a variety of stalls, food tents and banners throughout the grounds advertising local businesses and community groups.

He moseyed across to the entrance. A couple of nuns dressed in the traditional black habits greeted him with great enthusiasm. The younger of the two who looked uncannily like Sister Mary Clarence from the movie Sister Act, addressed Ron directly. "Come in young man. We are having a fundraiser so we can repair the church roof. Any contributions are welcome. Everyone here today is donating their time and services for the parish. We have something for all; stalls, scary rides, a dog show on at 3pm and we have a smorgasbord of international food we guarantee will satisfy any appetite". The nun had the spiel down pat. She smiled at him cheekily before adding, "Swear to God."

The sister was talking Ron's language. Food. "Boo-yah," thought the blond teen. There was always time for snackage.

Ron tried to get his bearings. He made mental notes of the stalls that he would return to. He decided his first stop was to satisfy his stomach now the sister had planted the idea into his head.

The Japanese food stall caught his eye. "Sorry, Rufus buddy, but we have to save the Bueno Nacho cheese for another day."

"Ahhhh…" replied the naked mole rat. From the look on Rufus' face it was obvious he had been looking forward to getting his cheese fix. It had been a while between nachos.

While Ron was waiting in line he checked out the girl serving behind the counter. She had a strong resemblance to Yori. She was Asian, her hair was cut in a similar style and they would have been of the same height. The girl was cute too but she lacked Yori's grace, stealth and ninja black attire. This girl was wearing color and lots of it. Ron wondered what happened to the ninja girl. The few occasions they worked together on missions had been fun and he thought they had a good rapport.

He would never have guessed that Yori had been flirting and was attracted to him. KP had pointed it out to him later. He wished he had known. It would have saved him a lot of heartache had he acted sooner.

After a few minutes of small talk, Ron purchased a few Nori Rolls and a rice ball, and headed towards the music that he could hear behind him. The local radio station had set up a caravan broadcasting live for the occasion.

Ron found a place on the grassed area near the caravan and began eating his rice ball. He watched the DJ do his thing. The DJ made a few announcements and played a few commercials before he introduced a new song. Ron didn't know the name of the song but he knew the intro. Actually he knew all the lyrics. That song seemed to be following him. It was the soundtrack to his life at the moment.

_Oh no_

_Don't go changing_

_That's what you told me from the start_

_Thought you were something different_

_That's when it all just fell apart_

_Like you're so perfect_

_And I can't measure up_

_Well I'm not perfect_

_Just all messed up_

**Flashback**

In his seventeen years Ron Stoppable never once questioned his relationship with Kim Possible. They had known each other forever it seemed. From the first day of preschool they had become BFF's. The Possible family accepted him as an extension of their family and never queried why he virtually lived at their house as much as his own. He even had his own place at the Possible dinner table.

Ron and Kim did everything together. They supported and accepted one another completely. Well mostly. Kim could never understand his love of Snowman Hank, but that was minor point of difference as far as Ron was concerned. On the big things they were in complete sync.

Ron had even become Kim's loyal sidekick following her to adventures unknown. Had he ever thought about the sitch on a deeper level he would have reconsidered in view of the dangers. They had gained powerful enemies, Dr Drakken, Dementor, DNAmy, Duff Killigan, the Seniors and Monkey Fist. On every mission he and Rufus tried to have her back. Along with Wade Load, Team Possible was a great team.

Sure he wanted to see the bad guys behind bars but that wasn't his motivation. Ron never wanted the attention that went with the successful missions. That was a good thing because no one ever remembered his name. He was just the goofy blond kid who wore colorful boxers in the press photos. It felt wonderful doing his part even though he knew it was often for comic relief. Ron was fine with that. He just wanted to be near Kim.

He looked forward to an exhausting mission. The more death traps the better as far as he was concerned. Ron loved it when they flew back from those missions and a very tired Kim would rest her head against his shoulder. Even though it was momentary, it made him feel like Kim saw him beyond the BFF. It gave him hope.

Ron thought it was also great he had such a tight friendship group. Most of the time Monique and Felix laughed along with Ron and Kim over the latest Drakken failure or the new horror that DNAmy had created. Or they talked fashion or lack of it and video games. They kept things real for him.

As much as the rest of the student body cheered him on, they didn't understand. There were also the detractors. There were other students who never missed the opportunity to throw around the bitchy comment, whether it was to his face or not. Students like Bonnie Rockwaller.

He never told Kim but he was aware that she stood up for him again and again. Sometimes when Ron was at his locker he would overhear Bonnie carrying on with the other cheerleaders. Occasionally Ron would overhear Bonnie corner Kim and would ask her, "K, what do you see in that loser?" Kim's reply always made him smile.

His friends Monique and Felix both knew how much Ron liked KP. He didn't have to tell them. He just hoped he didn't come across as desperate. They also were supportive enough to let him deal with it in his own time. Sometimes in the cafeteria they would nudge him to try and prompt him to act on his crush if they saw an opening. Ron was never that bold.

Ron thought he and Kim had a deep connection and they could tell each other everything. Well almost everything. It took a long time for Ron to admit his feelings to Kim. He had loved her for the longest time. He listened to her patiently as she went through her various crushes even though they crushed him a little inside every time.

The teen even went to great lengths to retrieve an exotic remedy so Kim wouldn't be blushed out of existence. Blushes brought on by being on a date with another guy. That hurt. On the outside all Ron could do was appear to be the supportive best friend.

Josh Mankey was a nice guy. He was every bit the laid-back artist but Ron wasn't used to seeing another man in a romantic manner. He could see that perhaps Josh was attractive to the ladies but he couldn't understand what it was that made him irresistible to the cheerleaders. Thankfully whatever Kim saw in Josh Mankey was fleeting.

As bad as the Josh Mankey period was, it was Kim's infatuation with Eric the Synthodrone that totally crushed Ron. Never in his life did Ron feel so second best. He was never so glad that a rival for Kim's affections turned to out to be so, fake. Literally. He was sad that his best friend was so affected by the experience that she violently disposed of those who had messed with her emotions; but it gave him the opportunity to finally step up and finally ask his best friend out.

When they kissed for the very first time at the prom, it was the most magical moment of his life. Ron forgot about his nerves and his sweaty palms and just went for it. His whole body felt electric, his nerves tingled. It felt like all his Christmas' had come at once, that is if he celebrated Christmas. He had never expected to experience that moment. It was better than what he ever fantasized about, and boy, did he fantasize about Kim.

Despite his best efforts Ron could never get rid of the niggling thought that Kim was a little out of his league. She was popular, beautiful, smart, selfless, kind-hearted, committed and not to mention, looked fabulous in a cheerleader's uniform.

That blissful feeling didn't last however. He could feel Kim pulling away from him. Ron couldn't understand why. He still felt the passion and the emotion. He wasn't really doing anything different. He just wanted to spend all his time with his girlfriend but she told him that his intensity was beginning to scare her.

Ron knew that he wasn't the most romantic guy in the world. He loved the coupon books and shopping at Smarty Mart. Why pay more when you didn't have to? That's the way he was raised. Early on in his life, Ron's parents instilled the value of money. He didn't understand why Kim and Monique would roll their eyes when he spotted a bargain at Smarty Mart. How was that any different than a sale at Club Banana?

Ron was a simple guy with simple tastes. He loved Buenos Nacho. He loved the menu, the convenience, how he never grew tired of eating there. Yep, he pretty much pretty loved the entire menu. He loved the grand sized naco with cheese best of all. The grand sized naco combined all that Ron loved in one, cheesy food, and it was a bargain.

He usually lost all sense of table manners at Buenos Nacho when he inhaled his food. It usually embarrassed everyone with him. It didn't matter as it made him happy.

Ron thought that Kim understood and accepted that. He thought it was part of his charm.

_I was losing myself to somebody else_

_But now I see_

_I don't wanna pretend_

_So this is the end of you and me_

_Cause the girl that you want_

_She was tearing us apart_

_Cause she's everything_

_Everything that I'm not_

Ron insecurities started to emerge a few weeks into their relationship. He could not help himself. He started to call Kim at the oddest hours wanting to make sure that it their relationship was real and that she was in fact his girlfriend. She would patiently assure him that they were in fact a couple.

Ron's anxieties were heighten when Team Possible went on missions to stop Dr Drakken and Shego. Even though it was his job to handle Drakken, he still was aware what Kim was doing with Shego.

He heard the names that Shego called Kim, Princess, Kimmie, and Pumpkin, everything but Kim. It was all a little too familiar coming from someone who was supposed to hate your guts. He noticed how Shego would taunt Kim about her mission clothes and how well the pair appeared to be sister girlfriends when Shego was briefly transformed into Ms Go.

What Ron noticed the most was Kim's reaction to Shego's teasing. She would blush but she never backed away. She appeared to come alive with each new taunt. She would never let Ron face Shego. Kim was adamant that handling Shego was always Kim's job.

The other thing that Ron noticed about the missions was the constant touching. Whenever he faced Dr Drakken or any other villain, there were some dangerous and physical encounters but he didn't usually roll around the floor with his opponent on every single mission. It made the teen's flesh crawl whenever he did touch Drakken's skin. It was almost like he was afraid his skin would turn blue from the contact.

Thankfully Ron's fights with Drakken consisted of a lot of slapping. Sure Drakken was a lightweight and could be overcome easily but Ron had never rushed eagerly in to meet Drakken for what was usually a straightforward and easy fight.

Drakken never made him blush or gave him a massive rush. However, the same couldn't be said for Kim's fights with Shego. On the way home from a mission, the redhead would be on a massive adrenaline high. Ron could never seem to match that rush for Kim.

Ron's self-esteem was not helped by the fact he was self-conscious that he kept losing his pants. It wasn't a very macho look. Every morning he had to consciously make sure that his boxers passed muster just in case they were called to a mission. Ron was grateful the people helped by the missions, were thoughtful enough to send boxers as a thank you for his efforts.

Ron's discomfort was further intensified when Kim started commenting on the fact he was losing his pants. A lot. Often her response would be "Oh Ron, not again." On occasion she reminded him that he had lost his pants in front of the entire UN. That was to date, the most humiliating experience of his life especially with all those cameras rolling.

Ron began to feel very inadequate and ill at ease in his relationship.

_It's not like I need somebody_

_Telling me where I should go at night_

_Don't worry you'll find somebody_

_Someone to tell how to live their life_

_Cause you're so perfect_

_And no one measures up_

_Yeah all by yourself_

_You're all messed up_

After their last mission, where they once again had to stop Dr Drakken and Shego, the tension had become unbearable for Ron. He had to say something to Kim. It was all he could think about. It was becoming an obsession and that was beginning to scare him.

The opportunity for Ron came when the pair decided to have their date night in at the Possible residence. They had the house to themselves after the Doctors Possible had taken the twins out for dinner and a movie. They were seated on opposite ends of the sofa but weren't touching. Ron thought this was very telling.

They were in the middle of watching a movie that Kim has picked for them. It wasn't the Memopad but along those lines. Ron was not interested in the film. His mind churned over what he desperately wanted to say to his girlfriend.

"KP?"

"Mmm…?"

"Are you mad at me? Have I done something to offend you?" said the teen without preamble.

Kim's olive eyes turned away from the large television screen before them and looked at Ron. Her face showed her confusion. "No, why would you think that?"

"I've just noticed since our last mission stopping Drakken you've been a little short with me. I thought maybe that I had somehow disappointed you. Is the pants thing? And you seem preoccupied every time I speak to you lately."

"No, it's not the pants thing and no you haven't done anything to offend me," said Kim before turning her head back to the screen.

Ron needed to get this out. He touched Kim on the arm, getting his girlfriend's attention once more. "You'd tell me if something was wrong. If I did something wrong."

"Ron! You know I tell you everything." The teen could see the annoyance in Kim's face.

"KP, you know that I think the world of you but lately we don't seem to be as close as what we were. Actually I know we aren't as close as what we were."

Kim's brows furrowed. "What do you mean? Why would you think that?"

"You know that I'm not the most observant guy in the world. Lately I've noticed that every time I touch you, you flinch and we haven't been as affectionate as we once were."

"I do not flinch!" Kim crossed her arms defensively.

"Yes you do. You do it after a mission where you fight Shego, but after our latest it's particularly more noticeable. Did she hurt you? What happened that was different?"

Kim started to look extremely uncomfortable, guilty even. She never did learn to lie. "Ron, it was just a regular mission. Shego just did her usual smart mouth thing in order to get me out of my rhythm."

"What did she say?"

_I was losing myself to somebody else_

_But now I see_

_I don't wanna pretend_

_So this is the end of you and me_

_Cause the girl that you want_

_She was tearing us apart_

_Cause she's everything_

_Everything that I'm not_

Kim did not respond. Ron thought that perhaps the hero wasn't going to answer. He asked again, "What did she say, KP?"

Kim's face started to flush with intense color. Her voice showed her frustration. "Nothing Ron. It's not important. Please change the subject."

"What did she say?" asked Ron with much more force. He needed to know.

Kim's reply was muffled but the blond teen still made out the words, "Something to the effect of when I decide that I needed a real lover, to give her a call. And that I'd never regret it."

"What did you say?"

"…."

Ron could feel his chest constrict. "KP, how did you respond?"

The silence continued. Ron was beginning to panic and it showed in his voice. "KP, did you say anything back to Shego?"

Kim turned her head away from her boyfriend. "Ron, I was too shocked to say anything."

"Did she refer to me as the Buffoon?"

Kim nodded in agreement.

"Did you correct her?"

"What difference does it make, Ron?"

He had no doubt that Shego would have referred to him as the Buffoon, and what hurt the most was that Kim hadn't corrected her. She hadn't said anything. Kim hadn't stood up for their relationship, and for him. That hurt. A lot.

Ron's intuition had been right.

_Now wait a minute_

_Because of you_

_I never knew all the things I had_

_Hey don't you get it_

_I'm not going anywhere with you tonight_

_Cause this is my life_

Ron could feel the muscles in his chest tighten further. He was starting to feel sick and wanted to hyperventilate. He now suspected that his dear friend from preschool didn't love him like he loved her. A niggling thought came to him, if Kim didn't love him whom did she love? What wasn't he seeing?

"KP, do you have feelings for Shego?"

"Ron, in case you haven't noticed Shego is a girl!" Kim appeared exasperated with his questioning.

"You're deflecting my question. Do you care for her in the same way I care for you?" Ron asked more insistently. He stared intently into the olive green eyes until Kim was no longer able to hold his gaze.

"... I'm confused," was the quiet response.

Confused? What was there to be confused about? "Kim, you still haven't answer my question."

"Maybe… I don't know. This whole sitch has thrown me. I guess she got what she wanted."

Ron was perplexed by the response. Kim must have picked up on it and clarified her answer, "You know, throwing me off guard during our fight."

"What do you want? You know, with Shego?" Ron's looked at Kim's face carefully.

"Ron, nothing's happened." Kim looked away from him again.

"Okay, nothing's happened." He wasn't convinced. Kim was hiding something. Ron was sure of it. He needed to know. "Do you want Shego?"

"Ron, nothing has happened," Kim repeated, almost like she needed to reassure herself as much as him.

"But you want something to happen. That's the same thing to me." Ron's voice was breaking with emotion. He was barely holding it together but he couldn't let the issue go.

"KP, now look at me when you answer. And I want you to be as honest as you can. Do. You. Want. Shego?"

The redhead lowered her face. Was it in shame?

"I can't look at you Ron. I'm sorry," Kim mumbled. "I don't know. I don't honestly know what I'm feeling. I love being around you but I just know I feel alive around her."

Kim paused. It was like she was trying to find the right words. "I don't know really how Shego feels. I don't know if she's playing with me or she does mean it. Sometimes it feels like there's something between us."

"So this… Let me get this right, KP. This 'confusion' isn't just a recent thing? It's being going on for a while? Is that the real reason you were so upset when you kicked her into the tower?" Ron continued to join the dots. "Is that why Shego's picture never seems to leave your locker?"

Kim nodded. Her eyes focused on the floor.

"When were you going to tell me? So am I like your fall back guy, just in case this THING with Shego doesn't work out? Is that your solution after the whole Eric sitch?" Ron could feel the anger within him starting to rise.

"Ron it's not like that. I didn't mean for this, or whatever this is, to happen. I don't want to be feeling like I am. Lately I've been feeling that maybe you and I rushed into this relationship."

"Rushed into this relationship? Are you serious? We've known each other forever! I have loved you for ages. You knew that. How have we rushed into this?"

"Okay, I feel like I've rushed into this relationship."

Ron pounced on her comment. "So you regret going out with me?"

The redhead nodded. "You were so happy that we kissed at the prom I didn't want to upset you by telling you I didn't feel the same way. I'm soooo sorry, Ron."

Ron's eyes were beginning to water. He could feel his heart breaking. The news was terminal.

"You don't love me," he stated simply. "You never did."

The redhead grabbed his arm. "No, no. I do love you and I'll always love you Ron," said Kim trying to reassure him, "But I guess, I don't love you in the same way you love me. I love you in the same way I love the Tweebs and Monique. I'm so sorry Ron."

The tears were now flowing freely down Ron's face. He was a shattered man. He could no longer deal with the situation. This time it was he who could not meet Kim's eyes. He brushed off Kim's hand and stood up. He put on his shoes and jacket; and before he walked out of the Possible house, he turned and addressed his now former girlfriend, "You know what, stuff you KP."

He could hear Kim follow him out of the house, "Ron! Wait. Please. It's not what it sounds like. Let me explain. Rooonnnn…" He could hear the strong emotion in Kim's voice. He didn't care and continued.

Ron didn't remember the walk home. His mind was numb. He felt disconnected from his body. His parents greeted him from the living room. He didn't trust his voice to respond and continued through to his room. He locked the door, closed the blinds, put Rufus down and lay down on his bed.

He could no longer restrain his emotions. He had no control over the tears that poured down his face. He was sobbing so loudly and uncontrollably that it was almost like he was hyperventilating.

After a few hours, the tears had stopped and he tried to rest but found he just stared at his ceiling replaying the entire encounter over and over in his mind. He barely slept that night.

The following morning the phone woke him up. He felt tired and went back to sleep. The phoned woke him for the second time. His parents called out to him to tell him that breakfast was served not long after. For the first time in his life young Ron Stoppable had absolutely no interest in food.

There was a gentle knock at his door. His mom called out, "Honey is everything okay?"

Ron wasn't in the mood to explain things to his parents. "No, mom. I'm not hungry and I just want to be left alone."

"But breakfast is getting cold."

"I don't care."

After a few minutes there was a more forceful knock at his door. A masculine voice called out, "Son, please open the door."

"Go away."

"Son, Kim just called. She's worried about you too. We don't know what's happened between the pair of you, but we know its serious enough that its upset you. Please come down so you can explain to us what's happened. Maybe we can help."

"Please honey," said Andrea Stoppable urging her son.

Ron hated that he was upsetting his parents and opened the door. He was still wearing the clothes from the previous night. Ron's mother took one look at her son's drawn, pale and tear stained face, and gathered him into her arms. His father placed his arm across Ron's shoulders. They dragged him down to the dining room.

"Ronnie, what happened last night?" Ron's mother asked.

The tears started to well again. He couldn't look at his parents. For some reason he felt ashamed. All Ron could do was chant, "Mom, she doesn't love me. She doesn't love me."

"Who? Kim?"

He nodded, "I love her so much."

"I know honey."

"Why doesn't she love me?" Ron started to cry. His mother moved nearer to her son and wrapped her arms around him trying to comfort him.

"Ron, tell us what happened."

He did and he didn't hold back. He told them everything. From the time he started having feelings for Kim, to what he thought was their magical kiss, the dance, about his suspicions and anxiety about Kim and Shego, about his breakup the previous evening, and about the anger and hatred he was feeling now.

Elliot Stoppable tried to reassure his first born, "Ron, right now you're feeling very raw. I doubt there is anything we can say that will make you feel any better. The intensity of the feelings will lessen in time and you will be able to move on. Telling us everything like you just did is a start. Venting your feelings is a very good thing, son.

"You have to understand that being angry is a natural reaction. She's your first love. You don't hate Kim but in this instance you are very angry with Kim for breaking your heart. She does love you but not in the way you'd like and accept. We can't control other people, son, and we can't control whom they're attracted to. I know that you're not up to processing that at the moment but it will come.

"I suspect that she is feeling just as devastated about what's happened as you are right now. She's called here several times already this morning. She's concerned for you. When you're ready, you and Kim can sit down and discuss it. You know can be honest with her. She would never do anything to deliberately hurt you. You two have too much history together. And we know in time you wont hold what's happened against her. We know you're a better man than that, Ron.

"If you feel like you need to talk to someone about it we could arrange for you to see a therapist or Rabbi Katz. Promise me you wont do anything rash and that you'll think about what I've said. Promise?"

Ron looked at his father. He could see the anxiety in his father's eyes. On one level his father's words were true but emotionally he was not ready to hear them. Ron agreed nonetheless, "I promise."

_I was losing myself to somebody else_

_But now I see_

_I don't wanna pretend_

_So this is the end of you and me_

_Cause the girl that you want_

_She was tearing us apart_

_Cause she's everything_

_Everything that I'm not_

For a while after his breakup Ron pretty much avoided all of his friends and he especially avoided Kim. Sometimes in the school hallways he could see her look out for him but so far he had successfully evaded her. He could see the sadness in her eyes and sometimes his heart went out to her but he admonished himself for thinking like that. It was her fault he was feeling like this. Kim had broken his heart by choosing Shego over him.

He had pretty much ditched his regular schedule. He spent a lot of time in the library alone. As much as Bueno Nacho and Smarty Mart were his passions in life, now they were a no go zone. Besides he had spent so much time there with Kim that he considered them Ron and Kim places.

Ron avoided answering his home phone and had his Kimmunicator switched off and hidden in his sock drawer. He didn't want to even look at it. Even the name reminded Ron of Kim. Besides he didn't want to be made to feel guilty for not going on a mission by Wade. Right now saving humankind from evil villains didn't interest Ron. For once in his life, his life was all about the Ron-man. He owed the world nothing. Someone else could do it.

Monique and Felix both tried to get him to open up. Monique would try and call him at home. When she realized that Ron wasn't going to return her calls she emailed him. Ron felt guilty for ignoring her so he sent her a response saying that he was touched that she cared but he wasn't ready to discuss it and when he was, he'd give her a call. He loved Monique but she was KP's friend first and he had a suspicion that she would try and talk him around to speaking to KP before he was ready.

Felix would sometimes drop by to see him. Ron's mom hovered around grateful that Felix would take the time out to keep her son company. She hoped that Felix could get Ron to open up to him. Anything to make sure things were getting back to normal. Mrs Stoppable made sure that there were plenty of snacks on hand.

Felix tried to get Ron to play all night video games like they had done in the past. The most Ron was willing to play now was a few hours. Felix tried to steer the conversation to Kim and why they broke up but Ron would always cut him off before he got too far. In the beginning Ron's response was actually hostile but after a few weeks his answer softened to "Sorry dude, I'm still not up for chatting."

KPKPKPKP

Ron flopped onto his bed. He decided it was time to take a break. His mother had put him to work. According to Mrs Stoppable an uncluttered room meant an uncluttered mind. Well that's what she had seen on Dr Phil or Oprah. He couldn't remember which. It didn't matter. Ron had still been put to work.

Ron had spent hours clearing his room of clothes he had outgrown. The pile on his floor was high and surprisingly quite maroon in color. There were also piles of unwanted DVDs, CDs and games. He knew that he wouldn't miss those. There was no point in keeping any of them for Hana.

There was one item that he hadn't sorted though. It was the one item that he dreaded going through. It was a very plain and nondescript cardboard box. It was a box of photos and mementos that he collected. It was his special box. It contained memories of his life, and his life with Kim. His reactionary side wanted to throw it out without opening it. His logical side told him that he would regret it for the rest of his life.

Reluctantly Ron got up, went to the edge of the bed and dragged the box from underneath. He opened it and started pulling out the contents. Every photo brought back a happy memory, the times spent with his grandparents, the times he went to his father's work for the day, his Bar Mitzvah, candid shots of his sidekick training, the day that Hana arrived, his time as Mad Dog, the school years he had spent with Kim, Monique and Felix.

Ron picked up a photo that was taken just after a mission. It was one of the few occasions where Team Possible had not only stopped Dr Drakken and Shego but had them arrested as well. In the photo Ron was in the foreground grinning and waving goofily. In the background was a police car with a glimpse of Dr Drakken inside. Shego was standing against the open car door. She was handcuffed and smirking. Kim was standing about a foot in front of her. Kim's face was flushed, as if Shego had made a suggestive comment.

The photo had captured a moment between the two girls. The body language screamed attraction. Ron realized that he was the one that looked out of place in the photograph. That single moment captured what was wrong with his relationship with Kim and why they could never be the couple that he so desperately wanted them to be.

He and Kim never stood a chance. He was out of her league. He was just too blind to see it. Kim and Shego looked like they belonged together. Shego was a villain but she was a very hot villain, the teen admit reluctantly. She was Kim's equal, mentally and physically and brought Kim to life whenever they were together. He could never do that.

Ron wiped his eyes with the back of his palm. He thought back to his father's words about not being able to control feelings of attraction. As much as it hurt to acknowledge it maybe there was some truth in it.

_But now I see_

_I don't want to pretend_

_So this is the end of you and me_

_Cause the girl that you want_

_She was tearing us apart_

_Cause she's everything_

_Everything I'm not_

**Present**

The loudness of the commercial being broadcast, snapped Ron out of his reverie. He finished up his remaining Nori Roll, stood, then walked over to the nearest bin and threw in the wrappings.

For a second Ron wished he could throw his troubles away as easily and walk away. No, that was the coward's way. It wasn't in his character, nor was it in his character to be bitter. If nothing else, his experiences as a hero taught him that, if life exposed your boxers, you just had to pull them up and try another way.

Even trash was recycled into something else, sometimes a better product. Maybe he couldn't forgive just yet, but he could try and understand. Yes, that's what he was going to do.

With his newfound determination, Ron tucked Rufus back into his front pocket. "Rufus don't let me forget to buy that cake before we go home."

He thought back to his mom and how much he had worried her. "Or on second thought, maybe I should make one especially as a thank you. I've put my folks and Hana through a lot lately."

"Goodie, cake!" said the mole rat excitedly.

"You know what little buddy? I think maybe its time I moved on. All of this negative chi is exhausting. When we get home I'm going to make a few calls. I have a friendship or two to save. I know it will take a while but KP's still my BFF and we owe it to each other to at least talk."

Ron stopped walking as he reached the stall where he had bought his food. The girl behind the counter noticed him. She smiled and waved. He waved back. "And maybe its time I find out if a certain young Japanese ninja is single and still interested."

"Boo-yah!" said Rufus pumping his little fist into the air. He seemed glad that his owner appeared happier.

Ron broke out into a massive grin, "But first we try out the Mega Drop and then the jumping castle."


End file.
